Janie VanWingerden's Emails
For those of you who wish to contact Janie, her email address is jajavw@hotmail.com. Please keep her and the family in your prayers. Thank you.
Dec 8, 1999 - from Janie
Len on Tues Nov 30th, experienced dizziness and fell from his chair at the office (in Wamena, Irian Jaya). He had already been experiencing severe headaches and vomiting. We started to think maybe it was malaria. We gave him the cure. But the symptoms remained.
Looking back I can now see that he was slowly going into this.
We left for Jakarta on Thurs and saw a neurologist. He took a CT scan and discovered that there is swelling on his brain. Well, we went to a second doctor, who immediately requested we get an MRI, and we did. This confirms that Len has atumor in his brain. We are back here in the US and trying to get medical helpas soon as possible.
Len's speech has slowed down and the tumor is affecting his thinking processing. Today, he stuck two contacts in one eye and had to go to the eye doctor. It is not easy to watch the man I love do things like this... please keep us in your prayers. I know that I cannot do this on my own. I have felt the Lord's peace and pray I continue to draw upon His strength.
Our lives have taken a turn that we could never have forseen but we must rest on the fact that Our Lord in Heaven knew and will continue to guide and keep us close to Him.
Dec 12, 1999
It has been a long week - of emotions and yet strength.
As most of you may know, we came home on Mon last week, and saw a neurologist on Wed. He made an appt for Friday to do a biopsy for Len. But by Wed eve, we noticed Len slowly declining. He was losing his speech and coordination and seemed confused. By Thurs morn he did not speak to us but would respond to verbal comments by a nod. By Thurs afternoon I had gone shopping with my mother in law and came home to Dad trying to give Len a bath. As later we found out, Len had a seizure. I went to see him and he acknowledged me. But only with a slight squeeze of my hand. We then knew we needed to get him to the Dr asap.
...
(The paramedic) immediately put Len in the ambulance and Brother Dave and I followed.
Amazingly every stop light was green...The nurse told me that when she got the call she usually waits until the patient arrives before they call the doctor. But she said she had an eerie feeling that she must call the doctor immediately. He was just leaving the office and they managed to get him. Len stopped breathing in the ambulance and if the Dr and nurses hadn't been there and done the immediate medicine needed, Len would be gone now. The doctor told me Len was seconds from death. Len's brain had swelled to enormous and was trying to push itself out.
Len was moved to CCU, where we fretted all night. The doctor decided to do the biopsy and he told us that he might not make it through surgery. The nurse took me by the arm and sat me down and told me Len was probably brain dead. I had better prepare myself for the loss of my husband. I became numb. I couldn't walk and Dave and I walked out of there in shock. I cried. Dave and I prayed and asked the Lord to give us strength to call the others. And as we finished the doctor came and and said...I don't believe it; he moved!!! Imagine the elation we felt. I was exhausted. That day I cried off and on for the whole day. Still not knowing. A complete biopsy was made and the doctor felt certain that they had not a tumor but some sort of parasite or infection. The results are being tested in Atlanta. We must wait until next week to know anything. But now we continue to only treat symptoms, we need to know what it is that is causing his brain to swell and what the lesions are. The doctors are confused. An infectious disease doctor is treating him along with the Neurosurgeon. So now is the waiting game. I left tonite with peace of mind. The nurse told me that he is doing better than he has for 3 days. I have been comforted with many verses. Many which have come to mind during a crisis. I am numb, and am trying to make sense of all that is happening. The kids are doing fairly well. I came home today to spend some time with them, and put them to bed tonite before going back. . Again, know that we are taking each moment and cherishing it. I cherish your prayers. I don't know what lies ahead, but I pray for the Lord to continue to keep me close. Of course I pray for full recovery for Len. I can't imagine my life without a husband or father for John, Ash, or Amy. Janie for our family Dec 19 email from Roger to prayer supporters and others: The doctor has told Janie that her husband, Len, is dying from the brain tumor, and that efforts to keep him alive are in vain. Janie believes that is likely, but a little facial movement has given some hope. The three small children have been to see their father, except that he may not wake up, but say: "We must still pray for him!" Measures are being taken to sustain life, with a decision to be made Tuesday on what measures to continue at that time, if there is no change. Hospital staff has been amazed at the love shown by the family and others, and at Janie's courage. Janie has not been unemotional, but says "the turmoil is gone," and that she has "an incredible peace." Dec. 24, 1999 Hi to all I honestly don't want to hinder in anyone's joyous time at Christmas, but wanted to give you some more info on what all has gone on this week. Len is still with us. Today he had a tracheotomy done also had a peg put in which is a special food tube they put in the stomach He seemed much more relaxed without the respirator in his mouth. I even thought I saw a smile as I put chap stick on his lips. I bought some awful cherry stuff and I told him that the smell was probably the worst but he was stuck with it for today. He even opened his eyes for me....I am hoping it was for me. I am not going to give up hope. (Len has) a special doctor. He is a professing Christian. So what is nice is that he holds our views on life and also gave us another perspective today. He told us that he felt bad that he was the one who had diagnosed Len and hadn't thought of doing a MRI earlier, but he also said, "If I had done that, maybe Len wouldn't have flown the last 5 years, and we would have worried and made our life miserable not knowing when this time would have come." Len's sister also said to me, and maybe we wouldn't have had our 3 beautiful children. Len loves his children. They were his life. I know Len hears us and as our Family Dr said we need to continue to talk to Len knowing that he is aware of us. I tell him about emails and all the blessings of the day. I am glad we didn't know. If we had, things would have been different. We may not have done all that we had....We would have worried and fretted instead of doing what God wanted us to do. I pray that each of you will live each day as though it were your last. Forget the petty arguments. Remind each other that you are special and say you appreciate the other person. I definitely see people around me lately and sometimes want to scream out.....Quit thinking about yourself. Think about the one you love.... I try to find humor in our daily life. I know that Len wouldn't want us to sit around crying and not getting on with life. I do joke with the nurses....and even with Len's family. I bought myself a hammer today....And I needed nails to hang up some pictures.....Len's brother Dave came by and had to laugh. He said he could hear me hammering even before he got out of his truck. I guess I hammer pretty good. I could go on and on and tell you the dumb things I have done since I have been home and laughed at. But I will spare you. Please know that life doesn't alway seem fair but today I was comforted by reading Phil 2:1-18. I pray that these passages may continue to be my comfort. May they also comfort you. Love from our family to yours..... JanieDate: 01-June-2000 5:55 AM (Janie's letter at Len's death)
My beloved Len has gone home at 5:57AM. [Probably 5:47 – see below.] He went very peacefully. Thank you all for praying and for you support during these long months.
I love you. Janie for us all
Date: 01-06-2000 5:26 PM
Thank you all for the calls and condolences. I would like to tell a bit about what all happened today and when the funeral will be.
Last night I went in to see Len. He was breathing very shallow and the nurse felt that he needed morphine for comfort. We discussed the idea of me staying the night as I had a feeling that things would be going quicker after morphine would be administered. But he felt I could go home so not to worry. I came home and felt a heavy burden that the kids needed to go see Len. I asked them if they wanted to go and they did. I also told them that this might be the last time they would see their daddy. Ashley burst into tears and John became angry and Amy was indifferent. I had expected this from each of them. We went to see Len and then I came home. About half an hour later Len's brother called to tell me that I should come in. At that time we still didn't know what to expect.
I then decided that I needed to stay. I am so thankful that I did. At 5AM this morn the normal time a pilot would get up for preflighting their aircraft, the nurse asked me if I wanted to be with Len during his last breaths. I immediately got up and stood at his side. We called the family members and we stood at Len's bedside for 47 more min and Len's last flight took place at 5:47AM, the usual time a pilot takes off. As he took in his some of his last breaths, I said to Len, "Berangkat dengan satu" (Leaving with one passenger). And cried. Len had only one passenger on board. His final destination was not unknown. There was no ETA. (Estimated Time of Arrival) It was immediate.
Those moments while watching Len breathe in his last made me realize that the Lord counts each of our breaths. Not one is left out or added. May we all count our breaths as we count our blessings. I can look back and see so many blessings that were bestowed upon us these last 6 mos.
This morning I told the kids that Daddy had finally passed on. We went to see Len and Ashley crawled up and kissed Len on the cheek and said, "Goodbye daddy, I love you". Then she said, "Mommy I know why Daddy is cold, it is because his heart has stopped beating. And he isn’t there any more."
So matter of fact. But so true. I have felt sort of numb today. But as we drove home from the nursing home, I looked up and the sun was directly in front of us and around the sun was a full circle rainbow. I said to Joy, Look at the sun. We need to keep looking at the Son and with the rainbow He has given me His promise. I was supposed to see that rainbow. I know He has promised He will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised.
Funeral service will be held at First Christian Reformed Church here in Lynden on Tues June 6. Exactly 6 mos to the day we entered the US. It will start at 10AM with burial service afterwards. Viewing will be held Monday from 1PM to 8PM. I would love it if you could come but please don’t call me. I am so tired at the moment and need my rest and to spend as much time with the kids. I look forward to seeing many of you and may we also rejoice that Len's suffering is finished. He finished the race and fought the good fight. We request that no flowers be sent to the funeral home. Memorials may be made to MAF or to the nursing home. (Christian Health Care Center) Also for those who are coming in from out of town, you can call the funeral home to get a request to have your flight reduced if you fly Alaska Airlines or Horizon Air, If you know of another airline that does this then you figure it out, but you can call to get a letter from the funeral home that you will flying up. Their number is 360-354-4428.
Love Janie, with Ashley, John and Amy
Please continue to pray earnestly for this family - that His grace will be upon them, that His perfect will may be done, and that He will use them in your life, my life, and the lives of many others!
Janie's July letter
Hi to all,
Just in case anyone wants to know what is happening to me and the kids, we are in Irian at the moment. We were able to come for MAF conference. This was another step that the Lord's hand was so evident. When I heard the dates for the conference, I figured there was no way we would be able to attend. But it all did come together ... I arrived in Wamena with the workers meeting us with many tears. Mine too as I saw the hangar and the heli parked in it.
Anyway....I want to share some things that have happened. As I had said in my email the morning Len passed on, I was given a full circle rainbow. The night of the viewing someone came in to tell me that there was a beautiful double rainbow near the funeral home. Another promise that He is faithful and will never leave nor forsake us.
The funeral went very well. I was very surprised to see so many friends and many others that knew Len from before and someone in town asked if the mayor had died cause there were so many cars...
I came down with laryngitis two days later and my good friend Lynda had come over from New Zealand; having never been to the US she did quite well....HAHA...we used to tease her that she was speaking more American than her native accent...
A gracious friend gave us the opportunity to stay in a time share condo. I also was able to meet with a friend of Barb Dukes who also had lost her husband many years ago. She was an encouragement to me. I will need to keep in touch to receive the wisdom she shared. The kids loved getting away....but the only bummer was that I got more sick. We got home on that Thurs and I was off to the doctor and sat for 2 hours for him to tell me that I had a sore throat and needed to gargle with salt water. I did and by the next day I felt much better. Next time I will just gargle.
Then on the 19th of June the kids and I left for Irian. We traveled with Jean Wunsch (another MAF missionary). She was supposed to leave the 16th and offered to stay the extra days and we were able to have a wonderful flight all the way. Many blessings along the way in various people we met. Again seeing how the Lord provides even in the littlest of the littlest details.
I am ashamed to say that I have not really looked for the Lord in the smallest of details until now. He is there but we need to acknowledge Him. He has carried us every minute and every mile. We were to land in Biak, Irian Jaya, and as we were landing, the plane veered and jerked sharply. Both Jean and I locked eyes, We both were saying our last minute prayers, as we both thought this was our last flight as well. The plane then went full throttle and we didn't know what to think. But then all of a sudden we were on the tarmac. We sat there for 5 min. Obviously the pilot was shaken. Then he came on to tell us that we had landed in a thunder and lightning storm and apologised that we had hit a wind sheer upon landing and that it was very close. Our hearts were thankful.
We arrived in Sentani and the workers there met us and were in tears to see us without Len, which meant the finality of what they had been hearing from the expats was true. Again I feel blessed to have friends from another culture who have shown so much love. We were on the Caravan and on to Pyramid for conference. As we took off I prayed the Lord would give me another promise....A rainbow....But the skies were pretty clear and the possibility of another rainbow very slim. Just as I was praying for this, the gal in front of me yells out, "there's a rainbow!" Sure enough another promise.
The day before we left as I was walking to our room, there was a huge rainbow over the top of our cabin. Then upon our arrival here in Wamena, we had a double rainbow over the top of our house. Dave Wunsch has the picture on his computer and is trying to somehow send it to me. (Now on our main web site - see pictures about Len's family and ministry - Roger)
Coming in to our home has been healing. It has brought back many memories and many tears. But all have been good. The kids are so glad to be home and have had so much fun playing and running around. Barb Dukes is again with me and we have been sorting thru things and trying to get some semblance to life here. I am asking for your prayers in regards to the future.
I have been reminded by several friends to remember that the Lord called me here as a single woman and to pray about the calling that was on my life. I have felt such a peace upon arriving back and am commiting to prayer of where the Lord is leading me. My first priority is the children and knowing how the Lord has carried us each step so far, I am not fearful of the future, only wondering. So please pray with us.
Thanks again for so much support. I will keep in touch. And please if you don't want to be on our list anymore, please contact me. Love to you all....I am thankful for so many new friends and for my old ones....You are all so dear...
Janie
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